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Just Sayin'...

Published: Dec 8, 2011

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(Based on all the "Doesn't Play Well With..." posts I've been seeing lately on Facebook.)

Ok, so you might be wondering what the heck prompted this "all of a sudden", but believe me when I say, I've been wanting to post this for YEARS. In the past, I've been way too soft-hearted, weak-willed, thin-skinned and forgiving, putting up with abuse from the same people (namely types #1 and #2) over and over, never standing up for myself for fear of stepping on people's toes and then being the target when the poop subsequently hit the fan. But now that I've finally begun to receive much-needed therapy, it's given me the courage to stomp on a few toes, and that in turn caused the poop to be flung far and wide. It's over and done...so now I can, at long last, state my peace. If any of you reading this have yourself been used and abused by people with these traits, PLEASE stand up for yourself; you DON'T have to lie down and take it anymore. I know we're supposed to "love our enemies", "turn the other cheek", "return good for evil" and "forgive and forget", BUT...you don't have to keep taking endless abuse from the SAME people!

Definitely give people the benefit of the doubt when you meet them, don't withhold your friendship or hospitality from people out of fear, do forgive people whenever they ask it of you, and try to give them another chance--or even several chances, if you feel they are sincere in their apology and seem to be making an honest effort to change. But if you've come to find that a person ONLY abuses you, never seems sorry for it (and in fact doesn't seem to have a conscience at all), only cares about him/herself, and continuously betrays your trust, then they are NOT a friend and should be avoided at all costs. If they're a family member or spouse, then you should cut ties with them, no matter how much you may feel you depend on them and need them. In such cases, it's better to risk their wrath, slander and abandonment/disowning than to risk your own sanity and safety. For these people will not only bring you down; they will in time totally dominate and destroy you, for that is their ultimate goal. Please break those toxic "ties that bind", and I promise you will come to find peace and happiness at last...trust me.

P.S. And just so everyone knows, this post has nothing to do with my CURRENT hubby, who is the most wonderful man I could ever have wished for, and who has helped me to muster the courage I needed I to do what had to be done and to say what had to be said.

I've also posted a journal about C-PTSD here: swandog.deviantart.com/journal…

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Comments14

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Pantstrovich

Apr 21, 2014

That's a lot of resources for me to go through. Thank you for putting these out there. I'm especially concerned about how to avoid re-traumatising myself by getting into unhealthy relationships, so I think a lot of this could be very helpful for me.

Another book I'd like to point out for anyone with PTSD, that helped me to understand what it was and start to work through it was, "I Can't Get Over It" by Aphrodite T. Matsakis (link goes to Amazon). The title popped out at me at a bookstore, because obviously PTSD is about being unable to get past trauma, so I picked it up and started looking through it and decided to buy it. It was very helpful.

Good luck to everyone. I wish you all the very best.